BUTT Magazine hosted a "night club experiment" at Secret Project Robot on Saturday night to celebrate the publication of its 2014 calendar. These were the four best dressed guests.

Saturday afternoon, King County Bar in Brooklyn hosted the first annual Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant. Six contestants, only five of which made it to the final round (contestant number 6, a tourist from France, got debilitatingly inebriated with his wife and had to bow out), participated in 3 rounds of intense competition for the prized designation and $200. (This is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Repeat, there are penises in the vicinity and this post is not safe for work.)

I love the idea of the bike share program, if for no other reason than it gets people above ground for an extra half hour each day. If we weren't bred to work in cubicles, we certainly weren't made to slither there in damp black tunnels.

Norman Avenue Laundry has been separating, washing, unloading, drying, loading, folding and occasionally eating socks in Greenpoint for over 35 years. If you have more than 22 pounds of laundry and think your time is worth at least $2.50 an hour, it is cheaper to drop it off and have it done than it is to do it yourself. Assuming they use Wisk™, this is probably the best deal in Brooklyn. NOTE: They no longer fold G-strings.